I think I misunderstood the assignment.

So this weekend was supposed to contain the fabulousness of me winning money for a sculpture in the RCAF. (Research and Creative Activities Forum). But it turns out I was much misinformed.

For what I thought was a creative contest in the art and humanities portions was not so. And just to let you into the frustration a bit first. I spent 2 weeks repairing this sculpture to make it presentable since it had endured some travel damage in a previous existance. This is also a large scuplture ... 5x6 feetish to give a better idea. I drive an accord, not the most sculpture hauling friendly vehicle. So, after much asking around for collegues with SUV's of agreeable size and the lack of truck compatability due to proposed weather conditions I was hiting the high end of SOL. I had at a point contimplated appearing at the dealership of Chevys and convincing them I was in the market for a large SUV and abusing their 24hr test drive program. Thankfully I had an appiphany the the college had vans in its possestion with removeable seats ... perfection. Just, that I have to convinces them to let me use the van to haul around a big naked sculpture ... piece of cake.

So I haul it, hoof it up 2 flights of stairs in my 4in heels. And give my presentation and parade it back home (where there was also a fabulous flight of stairs waiting for me) . Oh wait ... news flash to Welch ...

It comes to my attention at the banquet that evening that I had actually made a total ass of myself. Here I thought this was a contest of creative activities ... when behold!, it's a contest of presentation. No idea ... I am being judged on my presentation, NOT what I am presenting. Good to know. Since I'd prepared an appropriate and organized speech for this, (I think not). Thank you total waste of my Saturday. Had I know this I most certainly would not have picked such a cumbersome project to present on but would have prepared a presentation. Hell I could have in the immortal words of my good friend Angela, "Walked up there and taken a shit, and talked about it". I dare say if I had prepared a speech about my shit I would have had a much better chance at winning some dough, and would have experienced a great less hassel in the process. So there you have it, I bombed, I suck, I wasn't aware of the fine print that wasn't printed on the assignment. Blah.

This makes me, A. Welch, proud to be an American.