Christmas comes a bit early for puppies.

Since Costello doesn't get to spend Christmas with the family and all the other dogs, (Hazards of being a phantom), Christmas comes a bit early. So it was time to open presents from mom. It's too bad he hasn't had lessons from Lexi and Ike to know how the system works when it comes to opening the presents. Apparently I've trained him too well not to be distructive. Who knew I was so awesome? lol.

So enjoy the photos of the gift giving fun. It's okay, he already knew there wasn't a santa. ;0)



All wrapped and ready to dig into the holiday!

Okay, still can't figure out how to link things on my computer so:
share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1AZOGzdy0YsXqA

The band-wagon was always my favorite form of transportaion.

Well here it is kids, my also new and possibly improved blog layout. Yeah for switching it up! Change is good my friends. I did lose my fun yet pathetic map of the world of who's stalking me. Anyway, I'm going to try and get back on the blogging thing. Once every 3 months does not a sucessful blog make, since I hardly thing that keeps all my friends abroad updated on my happenings. That is thankfully I do something interesting more often than once every three months. :0)

Well I have to get to studying .... last quiz/test for this week. Next week? ... MORE TESTS!! It'll be finals time. But then at least I get a couple weeks off. I do feel better about these finals though than I would if I were one of my 4th year counterparts who are in the process of taking boards right now. YIPE !!!! 2 more years and that will be me and I will also be DONE. Ahh so close yet so far, and then I get to become a real adult as all of my friends already have. S~C~A~R~Y.

Happy Friday Everyone!

SNOW DAY?!? NO WAY!!!

Welcome to the first snow day I've ahd in 6 years! Iforgot how wonderful postponing tests could be. Of course the trade off is that I'm trapped in my house by a 3 foot snow drift in frount of my door and the 16 inces still piled up in the street. There was no escape for the day in my two wheel drive Honda wonder.

I spent most of my day suggling with the pu; but we did get active for a couple hours. My driveway is shoveled (for what good that will do me since I cannot go any further than the end of it). And there was some playing to be had. It was amaising that even in his fur coat the Costello dog got too cold and punked out long before I did.

So enjoy some pictures of my man bashing through the snow in our winter wonderland!




"Chillin" with the ladies next door.


Link for more photos : share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1AZOGzdy0YsXmw

Halloween 2006

A fun night at Andre's!

Woot.

I decided to do a Pin Cushion repeat. I wasn't in the mood nor did I have the time to be too creative this year so i'll let the photos speak for the evening. Enjoy!

The Cushion for the Pushin 2006.


(I couldn't get the link thing to work so this should take you there)
share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=1AZOGzdy0YsXdQ

FOOD POISONING SUCKS!!!

Though it did get me out of class for the day; I blame it to be a vicarious Fuzz Bob incident and that's all I have to say about that.

To stay or to go?

So for all the effort being put into the decision about my future and where my career should leave me I came to a resounding revelation. (Thank you for those that helped trigger this insightful realization).

To bring myself to a GPA that I would feel comfortable leaving school with, should I want to pursue other academic endeavors, it would take more effort overall than it would to simple coast through the rest of this program.

This sad sad realization leaves me with one question to be answered.

Why not?


So there it is kids ... I'm now undergoing the search of why not. If it's going to take less effort to just complete this degree then why not just do it. There's nothing wrong with DVM after ones name. So we shall see, so we shall see.

I can take your balls ... beware!

BIG BOY???

NOT ANY MORE!!!


So this Sunday (I know it's a bit belated) I preformed my first surgery. It was an elective surgury, but hey it was surgery. I cut, I chopped, I sutured, you name it, start to finish it was all me. For those of you who know, I went to the Spay & Neuter Clinic this last weekendin KC. Due to the large volume of dogs and cats (since the passing of the lovely no pit bull law in KCK) I actually got to preform some surgery which is usually reserved for the 3rd and 4th year students. So, woot. I did a fine dog castration on "Big Boy" a mean tempered pit bull.
It actually wasn't as exciting as I would have hoped. Not much to it really. Though I did recieve such complements as "wow, you're so at ease with it .... I would be shaking so bad" and "you have really good suture knots". So perhaps there is talent there for me. Who knows. I went to this for it's enlightenment potential for my decision making about Vet School. Not much help really. Anyway, thought I would share. So, if any of you need your balls cut off just let me know, I know how and am not too bad at it :0)

Snip Snip little buddy.

Woah! Where did I go?

Wow, how long has it been since I'm posted something? Cripes!

Well, I guess I'll file a little update with anyone stick checking on this page. We're all aware of my big Seattle announcement; and while it's still a grand possibility I'm evaluation my options as thouroughly as possible. After some long discussion with the fam, the friends and a Dean, I've ventured into uncharted territory ... seaking help. *enter scary psycho music here* I know we never thought it was possible ... the Welch, asking for help! I know I know ... terrifying .... but it will all be okay I promise.

So I had my first appointment with my Career Counsiler this last Tuesday. After first explaining that "this was not my thing" but that I was keeping an open mind about it since I need an objective 3rd perspective option on my situation as to not make a huge mistake I proceeded to fill him in on the "all about me". We all know how much of a challenge it is for me to talk, not to mention about myself ;0) (yeah right), so this part went pretty smooth I'd say. It's also all we had time for. I left feeling a bit short sticked but that's how it goes. There's always next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, etc. Hopefully this will all be resolved after the next four weeks so I'm not stuck in another 8 week term.

For those interested I'll try to keep you updated on all this. In the mean time I still must do my school work so please excuse me as I get back to researching my presentation on "Swine Influenza" (riviting I know; I'm sure all your breath is bated, with bacon.)

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors.

So, my neighbor has decided to build a fence. And to clarify, my neighbor is refering to the landlord that actually owns the houe, along with 11 other properties in my hood. I have no quams with this idea in general mind you though I do have to make a judgement on this man's maturity. Let me know what you think.

Scenerio:

He orginally contacts me about building the fence -- I refer him to my father (the true owner of my home)

After lengthy round-a-bout conversation my dad calls him out on the fact that he's wanting us to pay for one half of one side of one fence (this fence being not the only one being built at this times ... he's also building a fence around the house behind my neighboring house).

The man becomes defensive and states that he had no intention of asking us to chip in on the fence.

To this I must tell you, he needs no permission from us to build on the property line, so why call? Why discuss? Do what you want to do, we are independents of this decision. So why else would you call than to discuss the possibility of shared payment? .... ponder that for a moment.

Now, his defense is that "he's not sure if he wants to build on the property line or not". Now why wouldn't you?? Seems a little silly not to, but whatever. You want to leave a 3 foot strip of land outside of a 6 foot privacy fence for no reason, by all means knock yourself out. (no we actually didn't say that, we didn't say anything really, not even that we wouldn't be willing to go in on the fence thing, but some people like to assume, and we all know that just makes an ass out of you and me.)

And an ass of himself he did make. The man out of sheer vindictive juvenile behavior is building the fence 3 feet away from the property line. Of course the fence company presumed to build in on the line and had dug holes and planted the supporting pilars, and poured the cement. Why should they not have believe this? I mean, every other house in the universe has fences on the property line, or darn tootin close. Well, they of course had to move them so now not only is there a 3 foot strip of land outside the fence but it's full of cement filled holes ... woopie.

As stated before, this is not the only fence being errected as we speak. Note: the house behind me already has a fence. So, it the house next to it that is also getting a fence also having a fence 3 feet away from that fence??? Of course not. That one is being build up to the existing fence.

This guy is an idiot. And an asshole.

Enter anger and frustration. So now if we want to build a fence we're just going to make this guy look more stupid. The catch is that we have to be approved by the Architectural Planning Committe, and you bet cha this guy is on said committe. If he decided to try and dick us on it, we're just going to sue the bastard cause guess what, our lawyer fees are free! Handy little pet there. I also will come no where close to mowing that extra strip of land which may eventually be a 3foot strip of land between two fences ...(good for botchy ball I suppose) ... which is even more dumb; and if that grass get's too high you bet your ass I'm calling the city on this fucker. I hope he ends up with citations out the ass.

Enjoy the pics my friends of this moronic motion to build a fence.

p.s. I did PI work in questioning the fence builders ... Mr. Asshole has made sure to make this out to be our doing ... nice shit huh? Ass. Did I mention, this guy's an ass??? Because he's an ass or vindictive little immature shit, which ever you prefer.

(for some reason this thing is not wanting to insert pics ... perhaps these links will work)

This love pic depicts the posts as they clearly do not travel along the property line, (which is clearly demarkated by the edge of the fence that already exists at the back of my yard)

Second, we have a beautiful hole left in the ground.

Oh look, this one is still full of concrete, but they'll fix that ... yeah right.

Finally, a clearer view on how my neiboring fence is far away from my property line, but how the fence behind it will connect to the existing fence ... cheers for consistancy.

Check it out, ... WORDS!

So I decided it was time to finally write in my blog again. Yes, actually English language; not just a bunch of cartoons and photos.

Nothing much to speak of, it's a fantastic 1am and I"m at work once again playing with the blood and other bodily fluids. Excitements abound as you can imagine. My most current patient had the lowest packed cell count I've ever seen, major anemia for this little one; I do believe due to my early morning efforts he is currently receiving a transfusion. Again, the excitement overwhelms. This is especially so since I"m due in for my second pathology test tomorrow circa 9am. This should also be a blast. Very coagulation cascade, edema, and all things inflammation related. Should be a doozzie compared to the last pathcapade; though my concerns are not so that I'm losing sleep over it ... that's what my job is for. hehe oh, on call, how you are so fabulous. No bitching here mind you, I am here basically voluntarily and they are paying me. woot. Money is good. Well, cutting this one short for it is CBC/CHEM round #2 and it's back to work for me ... dream your crazy dreams for me friends for there will be no sleep tonight!

The final episode of SP!

For my Springfield Hotness:

HAPPY GRADUATION!

The Dag friend, soon to be living in the great CoMo.

Anyone want to play doctor?? She's on her way!

And the Lizard, A bit of straw-tooth obstruction here.

Fantastic.

That's the size every martini should be.

The Evolution of Dance

As most of you are familiar with my background you can understand my undying interest in the preforming arts. For those of you not so familiar I've been dancing for only a slightly shorter period of time than how long I've been walking.

So it is with great pleasure I give you the Evolution of Dance. I came across it and thought it was too great to not share it with you all. Enjoy, and make sure your volume is cranked up!

SP Installment #2!

Round 2:

First we have the Lady Cork!

SARASOTA!

Ms. Cherico and her man Kal-el (got a bit creative here but I think it works)

and last but not least for South Park Part Deux:

Mrs. Karen and she's looking to kick some ass!

ARRRRR!

This one goes out to the girl of recent graduation!

At least one of us is done with school!

Congrats friend!

Welch and Friends go South Park!

Welcome to the first installment of my friends turning into South Park characters.

Enjoy

(I would have done more but I've done enough procrastinating on my studying for my test tomarrow.)

MORE TO COME!

First things first -- me of course!

My friend in V-School Crime -- Ms. Collins!

And my friend from back in the days of BS -- Ms. CJA!

haha, that's all I have to say, haha

thanks Armah. :0)

(if this appears fuzzy click on it and it will be larger and oh so much clearer)

Ok, 8 toes magee.

So concensus has it that I'm also missing the pinky toe on the other side.

I STILL WANT FUN MAKE UPS ON HOW I'VE LOST MY TOE!

excuse me ... toeSSSS.

woot

9 Toes Magee

Ok, what the hell happened to my left pinky toe? You know the one that's supposed to go wee wee wee all the way home?

I'm not sure but I think that fan had something to do with it.

Any thoughts on what happened to my toe?

Creative responses requested.

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,....?

A River Runs Through It.

As follow-up to the previous post:

"Denial is not a river in Egypt" ...
It is in fact, a tattoo on my back.

And there you have it.
That's all there is.

If they can live with that,

then I definatly can too.

wa-pow.

Elephants Revealed

The Cat's out of the bag ... our I should say the Elephant is out of my pants.

Yes my friends, the parents are now acquainted with my body art de l'elephante. The low down is that after 5 years of keeping it under underwear my paranoia and increasing awareness that hiding it is childish lead me to drop my secret-op ways of hiding my ink and stop caring if the elders discovered it.

Didn't take very long. This fateful Sunday during one unsheathe exit of my vehicle in order to pump some gas into it's much emptied tank it made a brief appearance above my boy shorts. So far the threats are lax, and I do not have to find a new residence and I may still refer to myself as a Welch. (That is unless my dad brings a gun with him this weekend when the rents are to visit) and in that case it has been good knowing you all.

As you may guess I have not had the pleasure of his reaction. It was my mother alone who witnessed this unveiling and I myself was not the one to mention it to him. It was she and the only way I know that she did is through my sister who filled me in; no details available.

I will have to keep you posted my friends (in hopes that this is not my last post).

Have a good one all, and thank you to those who had kept my secret all these years. I love you all.

I think I misunderstood the assignment.

So this weekend was supposed to contain the fabulousness of me winning money for a sculpture in the RCAF. (Research and Creative Activities Forum). But it turns out I was much misinformed.

For what I thought was a creative contest in the art and humanities portions was not so. And just to let you into the frustration a bit first. I spent 2 weeks repairing this sculpture to make it presentable since it had endured some travel damage in a previous existance. This is also a large scuplture ... 5x6 feetish to give a better idea. I drive an accord, not the most sculpture hauling friendly vehicle. So, after much asking around for collegues with SUV's of agreeable size and the lack of truck compatability due to proposed weather conditions I was hiting the high end of SOL. I had at a point contimplated appearing at the dealership of Chevys and convincing them I was in the market for a large SUV and abusing their 24hr test drive program. Thankfully I had an appiphany the the college had vans in its possestion with removeable seats ... perfection. Just, that I have to convinces them to let me use the van to haul around a big naked sculpture ... piece of cake.

So I haul it, hoof it up 2 flights of stairs in my 4in heels. And give my presentation and parade it back home (where there was also a fabulous flight of stairs waiting for me) . Oh wait ... news flash to Welch ...

It comes to my attention at the banquet that evening that I had actually made a total ass of myself. Here I thought this was a contest of creative activities ... when behold!, it's a contest of presentation. No idea ... I am being judged on my presentation, NOT what I am presenting. Good to know. Since I'd prepared an appropriate and organized speech for this, (I think not). Thank you total waste of my Saturday. Had I know this I most certainly would not have picked such a cumbersome project to present on but would have prepared a presentation. Hell I could have in the immortal words of my good friend Angela, "Walked up there and taken a shit, and talked about it". I dare say if I had prepared a speech about my shit I would have had a much better chance at winning some dough, and would have experienced a great less hassel in the process. So there you have it, I bombed, I suck, I wasn't aware of the fine print that wasn't printed on the assignment. Blah.

This makes me, A. Welch, proud to be an American.

Top 10 things you needed to know about me.

1) In Eastern Africa you can buy beer brewed from Ashley.
[it's some sweet stuff I dare say I taste pretty damn good, I highly recommend it]

2) Banging your head against Ashley uses 150 calories an hour!
[good thing I don't bruse easily]

3) Ashley cannot jump.
[no, but I do bound and leap quite effectively]

4) If you drop Ashley from more than three metres above ground level, she will always land feet-first.
[arial acrobatics - it's the only way to go]

5) Ashley can jump up to sixteen times her own height.
[Wait, I thought I couldn't jump?]

6) Ashley is the traditional gift for a couple on their third wedding anniversary.
[Hello menage a tois!]

7) Bees visit over three million flowers to make a single kilogram of Ashley!
[I'm sweeter than honey, probubly the reason I provode prime tastiness when fermented]

8) Humans share about fifty percent of their DNA with Ashley!
[Damn, is this the worlds way of saying I've been around the block a bit? .... I think I'll plead the fith on this one]

9) Ashley will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music.
[Hey, with the right goovy tunes it's amaizing what one might accomplish]

10) If you chew gum while peeling Ashley then it will stop you from crying.
[damn sunburns ... Well, if you're going to cry about it, I'll just peel myself!]

3 Blocks Down

So the third block of V-school has ebbed. It's amaising I actually survived. I dare say there was a close call in there. Anyway on to new things! Only 3 days of sleeping in class this week (ending right m-fing now thank god) and then it's two days of work for me and then some fantastic friend time in Springfield. I intend on having many a fabulous photo from this weekend. So excited to get the hell out of CoMo and have some fun. Woot. Will Hoge tonight bitches (too bad I"m on call :0P )

Doing what we do best at V-school, ... Exciting.

The Sheath Was Empty!

I come into work today and start running my controls when, behold! the sheath is empty. This is cause for concern when the sheath is empty. My first thoughts were, "What is the sheath". And then I realized, and when I checked it out, sure enough it was empty. Well, there was a tiny tiny bit in there, but obviously nothing I could use. I had to find new sheath. I searched all along the cabinets, the floorboards and the shelves to find a new sheath. Finally I found not one, but two under the sink. Thank goodness, I didn't know what I was going to do without any sheath, certainly not my job. So I switched out the sheaths, the empty for the full and started over. This is when I realized there was a new fault. It still thought the sheath was empty!!! NO! I say, "I have a nice full sheath here! Work damn you. What's wrong with you, why won't you get the job done?" It took a bit of fiddling around, but it finally realized I had a full sheath now and it ran through it's processes like butter.

Not my cell-dyn, but it's twin .... I bet it has a full sheath.

This is a Streck brand Sheath, we use Abbott Sheath but I couldn't find a picture

of that so I figured this was the best way for you to at least see the sheath.

Just imagine it in a brown box with a purple label instead.

The Towelphant Strikes Again!!!

Poor Costello has fallen victim to the evil Towelphant!

You can see the evil taking over ... clouding his poor doggie mind. He is helpless to fight it ...

Allas, there was nothing I could do. The power of the Towelephant is too great. Evil is all the remains now in my poor pu. So stern, so cold is the gaze of my Rind-Hund. I dare say I'll miss all his snuggle wiggles.

My friends call me Welch but you can call me Welbeecos ... aka ... More procrastinatoin

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME:
(favorite fruit and current street name)

--Pomegranate Hollow Ridge --

~I sound like some hippie poet. I'm definately going indi-rock on this one.


2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:
(grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy)

--Nancy 60% Cocoa Ghirardelli Chocolate--

~that’s a mouthfull


3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME:
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)

--A Wel--

~ A Wel and da C dawg are gonna be hittin the park, biatches!


4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME:
(favorite animal, name of high school)

--Elephant Blue Springs--

~umm, how now brown cow? this doesn't make any sense at all.


5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:
(middle name, city where you were born)

--Ann Independence--

~now does that sound like the name of the show's bitch or naive pushover?


6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME:
(name of dad/mom, cell phone company you use)

--Larry Verizon--

~ I sound like I have a lot of money ... I wonder if I'm single ...


7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME:
(first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)

--Welbeecos--

~ok, not into the whole star wars thing, but I'm digging this, I'm going to use this.


8. PORN STAR NAME:
(first pet's name, street you grew up on)

--Sara Tahoe--

~and a whoe of ta I surely must be ... bow chick a bow wow.

I"m procrastinating, I couldn't help myself.

Your results:
You are Supergirl

Supergirl 78% Spider-Man 75% Catwoman 75% Hulk 70% Iron Man 70% Wonder Woman 68% Green Lantern 60% Superman 55% The Flash 45% Batman 25% Robin 25%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

da link, if you're interested

Hyper-flavor Icecream

Ok, all of us who grew up in a certain age called the 80's/90's know of the most wonderful clothing invention of all time --- hyper-color. For those who aren't familiar, hyper-color was a fascinating brand of clothing that was one color and depending on how much you breathed on it, it would change color. The concept was to be a mood ring but as a t-shirt and shorts. Yes, yes, this is right up there with paddleball and wacky wall walkers.

Anyway, I've discovered hyper-color's new, and sure to be underappreciated, cousin. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you HYPERFLAVOR ICECREAM! This crazy new product can be found just down the street (if you live in CoMo) and you never knew. Heck, I didn't even know it till I ordered it by accident and tried it for myself.

Like the purple turns to pink before it I ordered a rocky-road concrete (substitute almonds for peanuts) and lo-and-behold I get CANDY CORN! Yes, this is as disturbing and discusting as it sounds. Little did I know when taking a bite of my creamy brown nutty goodness that I would come face to mouth with the ever way to sweet taste of candy corn. To me this was a crowning disappointment, for those of you out there that actually like the most wretched of orange candy Halloween treats then hey, I send my recommendations. For those of you with me, beware. I wonder what other flavors lurk to upset your stomach. Perhaps a Mint Chocolate Chip that tastes like banana laughy taffy? Or a Butter Pecan that becomes good and plenty? What ever it may be I do have to say I deeply miss my Emack and Bolios; where are you my ice cream that tastes as it should? Surely not at this cracked out custard stand.

The reality is just sickening isn't it?

Oh God, please make it stop ...

Ok, I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit.

Crowning Achievement!

Congratulations to me! Through all of my fun medicated times I have now officially managed to take every NSAID on the market, (and even a few that have been taken off due to fatal side effects). So congrats to me for beating the Rx system. All you pharm companies out there can take that hit to the bank and come back to me once you've made something that actually works! Assholes.

mmmm ... this is candy, we're having fun!

Evil Queen of the Towel Heads

Ok, I found this at the Wall of Mart and people who know me know I can't pass up a cheap elephant deal, or the opportunity to be embarrasing. So, enjoy-->

First I'd just like to present the towel and make you jealous; come on you know you are.

You want to rush out and be a towel head now.

I mean ... look how much fun I"m having!!!

I'm so cool.

Oh what is this strange sensation coming over me?

I can feel the power of the towel surging through me.

I know what it is that I must do!

I wonder if anyone can sense my evil plans.

Look into the eyes of my towel.

You will obey the towel.

Worship the towel.

HA HA! THE WORLD IS MINE!

I rock.

Beware the Full Metal Jacket!

So the time has come for many of us to go to town on our mouths. M's got her fun surgeries and I due to the loss of a bet, (no not the Superbowl though I am very sad for my Seahawks), I'm in the market for metallic oral enhancements.

So far all the DDS's that I've come across want to do horrific things to me.

#1) One's out for blood (literally and figuratively). $5000 smackers (the figurative blood, ouch, I'm a med student you think I have that kind of money? yeah right, I can't even buy food this month, though I guess that would be good for the braces and possibly my thighs; but I digress.), 18 months and let's remove 4 of my teeth just for giggles (the literal blood, as if you couldn't figure that out for yourself, ouch again). Oh wait I’m sorry, there is a reason for that not just to pump up our oral surgeon buddy and get a kick back; "I would have a more pleasing profile". So not an oral hygiene reason but hey, i guess it's a reason.

#2) we're better here on the greenbacks, cut it back by $1,100; better but still not good, we're now up to a two year sentence in mouth prison but then we don't want to remove my teeth, oh wait, even better we're going to file down all the nice healthy enamel off them, right in between my teeth so that when I'm trying to do Chinese acrobats with floss just so that I don't immediately get the cavities that would be inevitable with this procedure. Though this would make some dentist really happy, I vote no.

So here I am, continuing to shop around till I at least find someone who would like to leave all of my teeth intact, in my mouth. Some how I don’t' think that's too much to ask. I mean, they all fit in there before all pretty and perfect, surely they still will. So I've decided to take my journey back to KC and see if I can find anything more promising there.

There was a kind man there once that told me 6mo, $1250, and said nothing about removing any teeth or parts there of. I just hope he has similar music for my ears on Friday. Sure, he wanted to put metal spikes in my mouth but hey they served an actually practical orthodontic purpose and I'd take the spikes any day over random teeth extractions. My tongue would hate me but the teeth thank me. It's ok my pearls of white, you're safe with me I'll never let those mean men take you away from your loving gums.

interesting theory ... more like ....

Crazy metal brackets of doom! Adults beware, public humiliation is imminent!
(I knew I wanted to look 13 again, pedophiles are great lovers, so tender and attentive. *shutter*)

PICTURES AS PROMISED!

I know you all have been patiently waiting to meet Marge. Though I do have to say this was not her most photogenic day. Though I'm sure you understand as she's missing a few body parts. I don't think anyone looks their best after that kind of action. Anyway I wish I could also share the smell with you but allas you'll just have to imagine her sweet stench all your own. Think ... vommit and curddled milk. That ought to get you started.

This is my good friend Angela and the most savery part of her groups longhorn stear. Mmmmm tasty.

News Flash! There's a 5 minute rule on the potty.

Beware the after hours restroom usage! If you should take more than 3 minutes in the stall then the motion sensor will have no excuse to believe you are still there. You will receive a jingle like beeping warning. 2nd warning come at 4 minutes. What happens at 5 minutes? You are officially not in the room and the room with shut down around you. The black darkness of your windowless receptacle will consume you and it will begin to eat your soul.

See Megan, My reality is even more fucked-up than your dreams. Carousel in the middle of a corn field, fuck that. Try a Bathroom with a mind of it's own that traps you in darkness and you have to stumble through it's gated labyrinths and back to the lighted hallway before the possessed lavatory consumes you. Now that's some scary shit.

Will demon spawn emerge from the darkness, capture me and drag me back through

a portal to their evil water-closet demention? ... Maybe.

Picture updates!

So I aquired a digital camera, and now I've finally figured out how to post pictures, (I think). Let me know if they come through. Enjoy!

New Years Pics : Hopefully this will link you to the rest!

THE EXOTICS SYMPOSIUM!

The good times had in Knoxville TN, The Snow and rain on the way down (our luggage in the back of a truck, awesome), blow darts, guns, behind the scenes zoo trip, and all the drunken po-dunk fun you could ask for!

Can you believe they gave me a gun? NO QUESTIONS ASKED!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, SHE'S PREGNANT!!

Yes, ladies and gents. Marge of the Large is Prego. Our fine Omish lady of the forementioned blogging is/was with calf (however you want to look at that). Ahh I can't wait till next week when I get to preform what is my first and probubly my only necropcic c-section. This is not the birth of life from life, or life from death, but the beauty and joy of death from death. Ahh what a beautiful optomistic picture this brings. I can only imagine that fateful day when they brought Marge into the lab barely able to walk on her own; Bobby jumping on her chest trying to get her warm dead heart that had given up so easily, to pump enough formalin through her lifeless old body to keep it from rotting. Little did he know he was also preserving a fine calf fetus for us to rip from her body only a few short months later. Ahh the sweet splender of surprise.

Our horse Frenchie was also blessed with life thriving inside him as we found out the other day. Though being male he was not with the pleasure of pony but did have a fine infestation of worms that Katie and I roughtfully picked out of his diaphram and facial layers of his abdominal cavity. You know they migrated there because the diaphram is the only muscle that is moving constantly and thus provides a fantastic and rich blood supply to thrive on. The best was when you're rip into their puss pockets and the worm would POP out of it's wormy home and say "Hey what's up I'm a worm". Gives me goosebumps of joy in all this remonicing. I know you wish you were there as always.

I think an RIP is in order

So I took my computer to university hospital (aka IT services) and I think they are actually managing to recover my very septic computer from it's failing health. To add the irony that must come with anything I try to do. My screen is now failing. It is flickering in and out of conciousness and all hopes look lost. So I should be able to harvest all my info from the hard drive before it crashes for good and donate it to a new computer which would be fine if there were a computer to transplant the information to. So sad and tragic, I do not have the money to save my current computer which would cost more than it would be to just buy a new computer.

So I guess it comes down to this. Do I euthanize my current notebook of fun and wait till I can afford to buy myself a newer cuter more lively notebook or do I hook it up to a lifesupport monitor and hope for the best? I know it's been a fun four years computer, but I think it's just your time, it's just your time, and I'd hate for you to have to suffer through this. And worse, I'd hate for me to have to suffer through this even more.

So, so long black box of fun. It's been real.

Best I could do in 10 minutes, rough but I think the realism is breathtaking..

Death by???

I'm taking a poll.

I caught a single scene of one of the Jaws movies this weekend (I know as much as it was not the first) and in that scene there was some death, big surprise. Picture it, two ladies, two very different deaths ...

What I would like to know is this which would you choose if you had to?

Option 1) Death by giant great white shark grabbing you by your ski and eating you alive.
Option 2) Flail around your boat histarically causing you to dump gasoline all over yourself, lighting yourself on fire, and ultimately blowing you and your boat to smitherines.

Ponder that will you .... and let me know.

P.S. I think I'd go with Option 2 for it's more instantanious effects, if that helps you make your decision, if not then tough shit.

Option one : Lunch

Option 2: Chunks

Tell 'em Large Marge Sent Ya?!?

Well Large Marge can shove it up her scanky cow ass!!!

To update:

Large Marge is the name of my cow. My hugest rotted out dairy cow you've ever seen, cow. I'm sure to have pictures to follow, for now you just have to use your imagination. We all know what a dairy cow looks like, you know big, black spots, utter. Take that shove some hooks in it and hang it from the ceiling and you have a good picture of what my bovine looks like. Of course she also has a plastic bag wrapped around her head and an extra strap around her midsection for support.

Now to fill in a key key point Marge or Large-Large (as she is called in the world of gangsta rap) was dead before the preservation process began. I know its a terrible thing to imagine but yes, conventionally out specimens are embalmed alive ... blood pumped out by the heart, formalin pumped into the body by a still beating heart. This sounds bad, but what's worse is the smell of day old vommit/rot/curddled milk, coming from this cow. Without the for mentioned process (of which Marge lacked being already dead and all) what you end up with is a poorly perfused animal which leads to a poorly preserved animal, which hangs around in a not cold enough to stop the bacteria freezer for many moons, which leads to the stickiest rotted out shit you've ever smelt in your life.

Now I know you are wondering how was I so lucky to end up with this fine specimen? Oh pure luck as it my be. You're jealous I can tell. Thank you randomized computer program, thank you. Now for our first week of class I spent my time working on our beautifully preserved pony. aka "Frenchie" a dandy little guy and a joy to work with. Week two (as my group has divided into two groups and is alternating weeks between the two animals) is my lucky week to work with Large Marge. This is the week we are opening the thorasic cavity. For those unfamiliar this is the one containing the heart and lungs etc, not the one with the stomach bowels etc. (can't wait for that one let me tell ya... future blogging fun to be had there) Today I alone braved Marge's stank and dove my arms into her chest and removed her lung. This took over two hours and it weighed at least 20 pounds but I managed to keep all lobes in tack (not easy thank you very much).

Now revel with my in my crowning achievement. I did have many wonderful assistants in this task and could not have done it without them , thank you GROUP 5 ROCKS! There was really just only room for one person to really get in there and I went for it. So there I am shoulder deep in Marge covered in blood, latex, lung splooge, formalin, and a number of other body fluids and tissues ... time of my life (actually was pretty fun, the smell consumes you after about 20 minutes and you forget about it). I finally remove the lung we bag it and tag it and I start scrubbing down within an inch of my life. As you can imagine by this point I do smell a bit like Marge, and it's off to lunch after clean up. Here's where the big problem comes in and why me and Marge aren't on speaking terms. I'm allergic to Latex as some of you know, which is what goes into all the veins and arteries after the whole embalming thing. Well Marge had a section where the latex didn't set up solid which came leaking out of her and all down my arms. Very wonderful pink/red color it was beautiful you should have been there. So you see how this poses a problem. I didn't notice it till a couple hours later but I now have a very nasty rash all down the sides of my body to go with the irritated spots on my arm .... I am not happy .... it is painful.

So here I say Large Marge can shove this dissection up her fat cow ass because I'm not spending the rest of my semester covered in hives (sexy as it may sound). I just vote no. Frenchie, Welch is comin’ home!!

Like this but sooooo much worse, and hanging from the ceiling. Real photos to follow.