Tell 'em Large Marge Sent Ya?!?

Well Large Marge can shove it up her scanky cow ass!!!

To update:

Large Marge is the name of my cow. My hugest rotted out dairy cow you've ever seen, cow. I'm sure to have pictures to follow, for now you just have to use your imagination. We all know what a dairy cow looks like, you know big, black spots, utter. Take that shove some hooks in it and hang it from the ceiling and you have a good picture of what my bovine looks like. Of course she also has a plastic bag wrapped around her head and an extra strap around her midsection for support.

Now to fill in a key key point Marge or Large-Large (as she is called in the world of gangsta rap) was dead before the preservation process began. I know its a terrible thing to imagine but yes, conventionally out specimens are embalmed alive ... blood pumped out by the heart, formalin pumped into the body by a still beating heart. This sounds bad, but what's worse is the smell of day old vommit/rot/curddled milk, coming from this cow. Without the for mentioned process (of which Marge lacked being already dead and all) what you end up with is a poorly perfused animal which leads to a poorly preserved animal, which hangs around in a not cold enough to stop the bacteria freezer for many moons, which leads to the stickiest rotted out shit you've ever smelt in your life.

Now I know you are wondering how was I so lucky to end up with this fine specimen? Oh pure luck as it my be. You're jealous I can tell. Thank you randomized computer program, thank you. Now for our first week of class I spent my time working on our beautifully preserved pony. aka "Frenchie" a dandy little guy and a joy to work with. Week two (as my group has divided into two groups and is alternating weeks between the two animals) is my lucky week to work with Large Marge. This is the week we are opening the thorasic cavity. For those unfamiliar this is the one containing the heart and lungs etc, not the one with the stomach bowels etc. (can't wait for that one let me tell ya... future blogging fun to be had there) Today I alone braved Marge's stank and dove my arms into her chest and removed her lung. This took over two hours and it weighed at least 20 pounds but I managed to keep all lobes in tack (not easy thank you very much).

Now revel with my in my crowning achievement. I did have many wonderful assistants in this task and could not have done it without them , thank you GROUP 5 ROCKS! There was really just only room for one person to really get in there and I went for it. So there I am shoulder deep in Marge covered in blood, latex, lung splooge, formalin, and a number of other body fluids and tissues ... time of my life (actually was pretty fun, the smell consumes you after about 20 minutes and you forget about it). I finally remove the lung we bag it and tag it and I start scrubbing down within an inch of my life. As you can imagine by this point I do smell a bit like Marge, and it's off to lunch after clean up. Here's where the big problem comes in and why me and Marge aren't on speaking terms. I'm allergic to Latex as some of you know, which is what goes into all the veins and arteries after the whole embalming thing. Well Marge had a section where the latex didn't set up solid which came leaking out of her and all down my arms. Very wonderful pink/red color it was beautiful you should have been there. So you see how this poses a problem. I didn't notice it till a couple hours later but I now have a very nasty rash all down the sides of my body to go with the irritated spots on my arm .... I am not happy .... it is painful.

So here I say Large Marge can shove this dissection up her fat cow ass because I'm not spending the rest of my semester covered in hives (sexy as it may sound). I just vote no. Frenchie, Welch is comin’ home!!

Like this but sooooo much worse, and hanging from the ceiling. Real photos to follow.